When you have been married most of your life, then all of a sudden you are alone, there are some adjustments that have to be made.

First you are the only person in the house, so when you hear a strange sound at night, it is a little unsettling . You just lay there for a minute to see if you are going to hear it again.  If not ,you breathe a sigh of relief. If you do , you have to get up and investigate.

Me, when that happens, I get my nine millimeter Glock and slink through the house quietly . When there is nothing menacing , I go back to bed.  For the longest time if I heard a sound, I would think its just Bill.Then I would remember that he wasn’t with us any more.When he was alive, he had dementia  and would sleep during the day  and roam around the house at night I was so accustomed to that, it stuck with me for awhile. Next, you don’t eat, who wants to cook for one person, I just end up throwing food away that is left over.

Then you don’t go to restaurants alone, there is no one to talk to while you wait for your food. I would think everyone was staring at me wondering why I was alone. You don’t wear a sign around your neck saying. , I’m a widow, how dumb would that be.  So you just stay home and have some toast or boil an egg or two, thinking I can eat that tomorrow if I can’t eat it tonight.

I can’t seem to find a church to go  , because we helped start a few of them and attended a few more. We played music in the church and sang together . When I even think about going to one of them, I get almost sick.  How can I go in there without him.So I just stay home and listen to preaching on the TV.

You don’t have to argue over the remote any more, it’s all mine, but half the time I can’t find anything I want to watch.

The house doesn’t get too dirty  any more, and there is only half the clothes to wash.

And all of a sudden the outside becomes your responsibility , so I mow the grass and rake the leaves up every spring and fall. Then get a burn permit to get rid of the leaves and all the little branches that fall off the trees when the wind blows.  Water the flower pots, and weed the big flower garden. This week I raked the back yard and around  four pine trees, raked up the little pine cones.then I hauled them to the burn pile.

Don’t get me wrong, I love working outside, but it would be more fun if someone was working along side of me.

Then there is buying groceries, I buy things that are fast to cook and come one in a

package. Or most of my grocery bill consists of dog food and dog treats, which is almost more expensive than people food.  No my dogs aren’t spoiled!!!